Into The Ocean
by VyxenSkye
Summary: Yugi’s death causes Atem to fall into a depression that no one can pull him out of. Will he continue to float, or will he sink in the waves of sorrow?
1. Sank When I Fell Overboard

Into The Ocean

By: Hitokiri Musei  
Rated: T

Summary: Yugi's death causes Atem to fall into a depression that no one can pull him out of. Will he continue to float, or will he sink in the waves of sorrow?

This is not really inspired by the Blue October song I use and it is titled for, but I do think that it goes well with the fic, and I am listening to it whenever I write this, just so you know, so it does play quite a large part in the fic. I will be using certain parts of the lyrics that I deem fit at the beginning of each chapter as well.

**I RECOMMEND THIS SONG, IT IS AN AMAZING POWERFUL ONE, AND GOES WELL WITH THE STORY!** If you would like to hear the song and cannot find it, then email me and I will be glad to send you the file. Please email or PM me, it's hard to keep track of it in reviews!

Be aware, this is a random plotbunny. I have no idea where it came from, I was just sitting in the dark at my computer listening to the song, and this came to me. Please review for me!

**Yugi and Atem are NOT together. It's just the whole yamihikari kind of relationship!**

**I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Dance Dance Revolution, or Blue October's "Into The Ocean."**

* * *

Chapter 1

Sank When I Fell Overboard

_I'm just a normal boy  
That sank when I fell overboard  
My ship would leave the country  
But I'd rather swim ashore _

Without a life that's sadly stuck again  
Wish I was much more masculine  
Maybe then I could learn to swim  
Like 'fourteen miles away'

_**Part 1 of Verse 1 **_

* * *

Yugi stretched in his bed, and then squealed sharply as talented fingers attacked his sides, tickling him mercilessly. Yugi laughed out loud, trying to slap the hands away, but they were too strong, he was trapped.

"ATEM!!!" he squealed, wriggling around beneath his other as the ex-Pharaoh skillfully pinned him to the bed, still tickling his sides.

Atem had an evil grin on his face, his crimson eyes glimmering with laughter and happiness as he tortured his little hikari. "It's time to get up, Yugi!"

"I'M…UP! I'M UP!! NOW… QUIT!!!" Yugi choked out around laughs and giggles, smacking his hands at Atem's arms, trying to get the tickle attack to stop. The boy suddenly stilled with he heard a rather startled yelp and Atem's weight was suddenly gone.

Blinking curiously, Yugi sat up, breathing rather heavily from Atem's tickling. The ex-Pharaoh was gone. Yugi raised a brow, and then poked his head over the side of the bed to see Atem in a heap on the floor, looking rather miffed, trying to act as though the whole thing had been on purpose.

Yugi couldn't help it, he started laughing at the poor spirit, clutching his slim stomach and rolling on the bed. "Oh, Atem, that was priceless!!"

Atem glared at his smaller counterpart, attempting to growl in a hopefully menacing way. "It is not funny, aibou!"

This made Yugi laugh harder. "You should have seen the look on your face! I don't think I've ever seen anything funnier!"

Atem growled, raising his hands. "That's it!"

Yugi squealed loudly, darting off the bed and trying to escape through the door, but he was caught by Atem's long arms looping around his waist and dragging him backwards once more. Yugi fought the ex-Pharaoh's hold, but Atem had the upper hand, and he easily pinned the boy to the floor beneath him and returned to administering his tickle torture.

The door suddenly opened, and Sugoroku Moto poked his head in the room. He chuckled when he spotted how Atem and Yugi were arranged on the floor, Atem straddling Yugi's waist and his hands under Yugi's pajama shirt in order to get better access, Yugi's feet hooked in the ex-Pharaoh's armpits in an attempt to push him up and off, both rather sweaty and breathing hard.

"You boys could get a little louder, you know," the elder said with a slight chuckle and a smile.

Atem blinked. "Oh, did we bother you, Grandpa?"

Sugoroku shook his head with a good-natured smile. "No, I was in the shop. I just thought I should come see who was getting killed up here. It sounded like there was some sort of a herd of elephants parading around in this room!"

Yugi blushed faintly, detangling himself from Atem and attempting to straighten himself up a little. "Sorry, Grandpa."

"It's quite alright my boy; you're allowed to have fun." Sugoroku chuckled, starting to close the door. "Don't forget, Tea, Joey, Ryou, and Bakura should be here soon. You kids had better get ready."

As the elder shut the door and moved away Yugi couldn't help dissolving into giggles once more, and Atem followed him a moment later, unable to help himself. Yugi could make him laugh any time, no matter when or where. He had always had that gift, and it had only seemed to grow in the year since the Ceremonial Battle and Atem had chosen to stay with his little aibou. Their bond was just too strong, and the two had dreaded being separated, so the ex-Pharaoh had stayed in his own body.

Yugi stood, stretching out his body by reaching for the ceiling. Atem surveyed him; Yugi had grown some, and was now the same height as the spirit, though other than that he retained his innocent outlook. At the age of eighteen, one year younger than Atem himself, Yugi still looked like a young boy, and it was somewhat of an annoyance for the duelist.

Yugi ransacked his closet in a matter of moments, and then waved slightly to Atem. "I'm heading for the shower. It'll be your turn when I'm done, okay?"

"Don't be too long, aibou." Atem replied. "We have to be ready to go in an hour."

Yugi nodded. "Yea, I know. This is your fault for making me so sweaty; I'll have to take longer to get all the sweat out of my hair!"

Atem chuckled slightly, but did not reply to his aibou's words as the smaller headed out of the room. He instead settled back on the bed, hooking his hands together behind his head and closing his eyes. Yup, life was pretty much perfect.

* * *

"Come on, Atem, you can do it!"

Atem stuck his tongue between his teeth, moving his feet faster on the dance pad. The _Dance Dance Revolution_ game was his favorite, and he loved to play it. He and Yugi were both pros at it, and both absolutely loved the game. He glanced to the side to see his aibou totally absorbed in the game, his feet moving rapidly.

The ex-Pharaoh focused back on the screen, his hands waving at his sides as he used his arms to keep his balance as he danced. The group had been having a dance-off, and, as usual, it had come down to Atem versus Yugi. The two were nearly unbeatable, and the last dance between the two of them was always exciting.

As their scores came up on the screen Atem scanned them, and then groaned as Yugi let out a cheer and bounced up and down. "I won, I won!"

Atem grinned, laughing as Yugi stopped, plopping down on the ground, totally exhausted. "Good job Yugi, but you only beat me by a few steps."

Yugi stuck his tongue out at his other half. "I still beat you. Sore loser!"

Atem rolled his eyes, not replying. He put down a hand, and the two leaned on each other as the group headed out of the arcade. Tea was giggling as Yugi pretended to faint. "Oh come on Yugi, it's not that bad!"

"You weren't the one dancing!"

Ryou smiled, and then squeaked slightly as Bakura sidled closer to his hikari, draping an arm around his shoulders. Bakura grinned. "That was pretty impressive, you arrogant Pharaoh."

"Stupid tomb robber."

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Can we not get into this, please you two?"

Atem relented, and Ryou glared slightly at Bakura as the white-haired robber opened his mouth to reply to Atem's comment. Even though Ryou was quiet, he managed to make Bakura listen to him, and the Ring's spirit went silent.

Yugi danced away from his other half as they came to a street, going to look at the light and make sure it was safe to cross. The light changed, and the group started across, Yugi a little ahead of the others. As he walked across he turned around, a brilliant smile on his face as he opened his mouth to say something to his friends.

It all happened so fast.

A car flew around the corner, going at speeds that weren't possibly legal, flying right through the red light. Atem barely had time to think when the car was suddenly gone, leaving Yugi on the ground in a puddle of his own blood.

Atem screamed, running forward to his aibou's side, wanting to gather him into his arms, but afraid to hurt him more. In the end he merely collapsed to his knees beside his aibou, paying no mind to the blood that started to soak into his jeans. "Yugi? Yugi, please, answer me!"

Yugi coughed slightly, blood trickling from the corners of his mouth. As this happened Atem knew that no doubt a few ribs had been broken and probably pierced one of Yugi's lungs, and now blood was leaking into the little hikari's lungs. Atem grabbed Yugi's hand, running worriedly eyes over the injuries.

It was easy to see that the car's fender, as it collided with Yugi's shins, had broken both legs with the force and angle combined. The impact with the ground had broken one of Yugi's arms, which he had no doubt thrown out on instinct to break his fall, as well as snapping a few of his ribs.

"A-Atem…"

Atem risked lifting his aibou's head, placing Yugi in his lap as he stroked his hair lovingly. Tears were already flowing down his face, dripping down to hit Yugi's face as the little hikari joined in with his yami's tears. "It's okay Yugi, help is on the way, just hold on, okay?"

"I… I don't want to go…" Yugi sobbed out, blood staining his teeth. "I don't want to die…"

Atem shook his head violently. "You won't die! I promise you won't, you just have to hold on until the ambulance gets here!"

Yugi clenched his hand around Atem's, his grasp faint and trembling. His violet eyes were locked on Atem's, and he opened his mouth. "A-Atem…" He swallowed thickly. "I…"

Silence. Atem choked on a sob, his eyes remaining locked on Yugi's violet eyes as they began to fade and the light left them. Yugi's grip on his hand went limp, and his body went still.

Atem sobbed softly. "Yugi…?" He shook his head slightly, his face contorting in pure sorrow. "Yugi, please… No… no…"

The former Pharaoh leaned down over his hikari's body, sobbing violently, wailing and screaming as he clutched at Yugi's body.

His aibou was dead.


	2. Lighthouse Beam Has Just Run Out

Chapter 2

Lighthouse Beam Has Just Run Out

_You're floating up and down  
I spin, colliding into sound  
Like whales beneath me diving down  
I'm sinking to the bottom of my  
Everything that freaks me out  
The lighthouse beam has just run out  
I'm cold as cold as cold can be  
be_

_**Part 2 of Verse 1**_

* * *

Crying was painful. Atem had never really thought of this before, but as he crouched there on the pavement, sobbing against his aibou's cold skin, he cried. The sobs shook his body, wrenching at his ribcage, making his lungs burn. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe, could hardly move as he rocked Yugi against him. He didn't acknowledge the blood soaking through his clothing, nor did he even worry about it.

The only thing on his mind was Yugi, the small boy lying still in his arms.

He could faintly hear Tea crying behind him, Ryou sobbing as he no doubt hung off of his yami, and Joey on the phone, but he paid it no mind.

Atem leaned away, stroking Yugi's pale face, sobbing softly as he closed his aibou's eyes with shaking fingers. "I'm sorry, aibou… I'm so sorry… I wasn't there to protect you… I should have been there… I'm supposed to protect you…"

He sat there for a time, until he's lost track of what was happening, lost track of how long he had been there. He flinched as he felt a hand touch his shoulder, and he hesitantly raised his face from where it was against Yugi's cold throat. He looked up into Joey's honey colored eyes, and the blond bit his lip. "Atem… Come on, you need to let him go now…"

Everyone was shocked as Atem's face contorted in a snarl, his arms tightening around Yugi's stiffening body. A low growl echoed from the ex-Pharaoh's throat, and he crouched, clutching Yugi to him. "No! You won't take him from me!"

Hands grabbed him, wrenching his arms away from Yugi's body. The spirit screamed, trying to keep a hold of his little aibou, but paramedics were pulling the boy away from him, another few holding him back. Atem fought, punching, kicking and scratching, even biting.

"Atem, please, calm down!"

"NO! YOU WON'T TAKE HIM! GIVE HIM BACK! YUGI! **_YUGI!!_**"

A soft prick made Atem look around, and he saw one of the paramedics removing an empty needle from his arm. The world began to fade, and Atem continued to fight, but his vision was washing out, and his limbs were beginning to grow heavy. It was as though moving through sand, and Atem finally went under, falling back into the grasp of the paramedics.

* * *

Atem sat up sharply, breathing hard and fast. He looked around, blinking as he realized that he was in his own bedroom, the room that he shared with Yugi. He leapt to his feet, running out of the room.

'Was it all a dream?.!'

He ran down the stairs and found Sugoroku sitting at the table, his head down against the table and various papers and things scattered around him. Atem blinked, taking a step forward.

"Grandpa?"

Sugoroku looked up, his violet eyes bloodshot and clouded with tears. "Atem. You're awake."

"How long was I asleep?" the spirit asked tentatively.

"A day."

That made Atem a little startled, but he hurriedly asked the next question. "W-Where's Yugi?"

Sugoroku's face grew sad. "Atem… He…"

Atem's crimson eyes widened. "No… No, please, tell me it was just a dream!" Sugoroku didn't say a word, and Atem's face crumpled. "No… Not him… Why him… my little hikari…"

The ex-Pharaoh's knees gave, and he hit the ground hard, falling all the way to the floor and sobbing against the carpet. It hadn't been a dream after all, Yugi was gone, and there was nothing that Atem could do to bring him back.

After a few moments gentle hands touched his back, and Atem flung himself towards his grandfather, looking for some source of comfort. Sugoroku hugged the sobbing teen to him, tears flooding down his own cheeks. He had no words, for he knew exactly what Atem was feeling, though it was probably worse.

Atem had to feel like he had been torn in half. Yugi had been his other half; literally, the two had been a part of each other for nearly four years. They had been inseparable by anything, but it seemed that Death had torn them apart.

The only question was, how long would that last?

* * *

Tea sniffled slightly as she raised her head, looking up to where the white coffin was. They were at the graveyard, Yugi's coffin over the pre-dug hole, a preacher standing up front to pray with them. The girl tugged at the hem of her black dress, huddling against the chilly weather.

Beside her, Bakura sat with an arm around Ryou, who was struggling not to burst into tears. The small hikari had been very attached to Yugi; the two had known the others struggles and problems, and they had been like brothers. Bakura's face was stony, and he tightened his arm around his light as the preacher began to speak.

Joey and Tristan were sitting on the other side of Tea, both silent as they stared at their folded hands. Both were dressed in black stiff suits and ties, something that Tea had never seen them in and, quite frankly, never wanted to see them in again. It just wasn't their way. The brunette girl could see that both had bloodshot eyes, as though they had been crying.

Even the cold Seto Kaiba had shown up, in a black suit and with a… sad look, at least for Kaiba. His little brother sat beside him, his head down, tears in his eyes.

But the worst, by far, was Atem himself. The ex-Pharaoh sat just behind them all, unable to be close to the coffin that contained the evidence of his little angel's death, his head down. He was dressed in dark shrouds, mourning written clearly over every part of his thin body. In the week since Yugi's death he had grown quiet and reserved, as well as stopped eating. He was growing thin, and it was worrying everyone there. He never spoke, and he had grown pale and unkempt; he wasn't caring for himself.

He gave no evidence that he knew what was happening, and his body was still. The only proof that he was even alive was the silent tears flowing down his pale cheeks, smooth and unchecked.

Tea looked back up front to where they were just beginning to lower the coffin into the ground, pouring dirt onto it, covering up Yugi, her best friend. She stared, silent, crying, as the dirt was patted down and covered, and Yugi was officially buried.

A sob broke the silence, and then there was the sound of feet pounding against the dirt as Atem turned and ran, his hands over his face, tears flying away behind him.

Tea covered her mouth with her hand, crying as she stood next to her friend's grave. She looked down to where Yugi's headstone was, a flat stone set down in the grass at the head of the grave.

_Yugi Moto_

_1989 – 2007_

_A grandson, a friend, a partner_

_A Light for all who knew him_

'We'll miss you, Yugi…'

* * *

Sugoroku came into the Game shop, sadly hanging up his dark coat as he did. He knew that Atem was already here, the door had been unlocked, and he could see Atem's shoes and coat hastily thrown near the door. He hadn't done anything when the spirit had run from the funeral site; he had seen no need to.

But now that he was here, he got the feeling that something was wrong. He worriedly started towards the stairs, going up into the small house section of the shop. He went to the room that Atem shared – no, that Atem now owned – knocking gently. "Atem?"

There was no response.

Sugoroku knocked a bit harder. "Atem, are you okay?"

There was still nothing, and the elder worriedly pushed it open. He blinked as he saw a lump on the bed, curled up under the covers. Sugoroku moved forward, putting out a hand to touch Atem. "Atem, my boy, I know that you are sad, but you mustn't mourn forever. Yugi wouldn't want that… If you need to talk or just have a good cry, I'm here for you."

There was nothing.

Frown deepening, Sugoroku pulled back the blanket, gasping slightly as he saw Atem's face. "Atem…"

Atem's eyes were open, but they were empty, devoid of all life. They stared endlessly into the space above him, never blinking, never moving. His tears had dried, but sadness was etched into his features, clear and easy to see.

It was then that Sugoroku realized. Atem was still alive, but some part of him had died with Yugi.

Atem had given up.


	3. I Scream Aloud, Begin To Sink

Chapter 3

I Scream Aloud, Begin To Sink

_Where is the coastguard  
I keep looking each direction  
For a spotlight, give me something  
I need something for protection  
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine  
The jets, I'm sunk, I'm left behind  
I'm treading for my life believe me  
(How can I keep up this breathing) _

Not knowing how to think  
I scream aloud, begin to sink  
My legs and arms are broken down  
With envy for the solid ground  
I'm reaching for the life within me  
How can one man stop his ending  
I thought of just your face  
Relaxed, and floated into space

_**Verse 2**_

* * *

"Atem please, I'm begging you." Sugoroku pleaded, holding out the spoon once more. There was warm soup on the spoon, a bowl in the old man's hands.

Atem was propped up against numerous pillows on the bed, the blanket drawn up over his legs and up to his stomach. His pale hands were folded in his lap, his body nearly limp. Only his eyes moved, the hollow, vacant orbs following Sugoroku's face as the elder pleaded with him.

"Please, I want you to eat something. It's been two weeks." Sugoroku said worriedly, offering the spoon again. Atem merely watched his face silently, not saying a word.

He never spoke. Atem hadn't said a word since Yugi had died, and it would probably remain that way. He hadn't spoken, eaten, or moved since that day. He drank, but sparingly, and it was mostly what Sugoroku could get into his system during the rare times when the ex-Pharaoh finally fell asleep.

Frowning, Sugoroku pushed the spoon towards Atem's lips, but as he got close the spirit turned his head away, refusing the nourishment yet again. The elder bit his lip, and then put the spoon down, setting the bowl on the side table.

It would do no good to fight him. Atem had a will of steel, and if he didn't want to eat, he would not. Sugoroku had been begging him every day for the past two weeks, asking him to eat at least a little, but every time the spirit would turn his head away or just watch his caregiver with empty eyes.

"I wish you would eat, Atem. Yugi wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

Those were the magic words. Atem flinched, his wide vacant eyes traveling to rest on the old man. After a moment he turned away, sliding down the pillows and curling into a ball on the bed, his back to Sugoroku.

Soft sobs came to his ears a moment later, and the man sighed, walking from the room, not knowing what else to do.

* * *

Ryou came sadly into the game shop, spotting Sugoroku sitting at the counter. Bakura came just behind his hikari, his face stony. Sugoroku smiled sadly as he saw the two young white-haired men. "Hello Ryou, Bakura."

Ryou nodded to him. "Hello. How… How is Atem doing?"

Sugoroku looked down. "Not well. He still won't eat. It's been two weeks, and not a single bit of food has gone into him. I…" he bit his lip. "I don't know how much longer he'll last."

Bakura's eyes hardened, but he said nothing, only started towards the stairs that led up into the living area of the shop. Ryou blinked, and then followed his yami silently. Sugoroku let them go, hoping that they could somehow get through where he could not.

The room was dark, the curtains drawn to shroud the room in blackness. Ryou blinked for a minute, and then his eyes adjusted to the lighting.

What he saw made him wish they hadn't.

Atem lay silently on the bed, Yugi's pillows piled around him, a few thick quilts drawn up over his thin body. He was shivering madly, his lips shaking, eyes squeezed closed. As Ryou came close he could see that the spirit's lips were tinted blue, his skin pale. He was so thin, his face like a skeleton's, the skin drawn drum tight over sharp bones. His eyes were sunk far back in his skull, giving him the look of the dead.

Bakura frowned at the sight, and then his eyes alighted on a bowl of soup, long gone cold, sitting on the side table. He took a few steps forward, going to where it was and lifting it off the table.

Ryou sighed, sitting down on the bed, brushing his fingers over Atem's face. "Atem? It's Ryou and Bakura. We would like it if you ate something. It would warm you up a little. Help your body to regulate its temperature."

Atem opened vacant eyes, fixing Ryou in their empty gaze. The white-haired boy managed to restrain a flinch, but his eyes widened slightly at the sight.

"Stupid Pharaoh."

Ryou gasped faintly, his head whipping around to look up at his yami. Bakura's face was twisted in a scowl, his hands clenched into fists. "Bakura!"

"Don't even say it, Ryou. He needs to hear this." Bakura said sharply. The thief bent down, getting right in Atem's face. "You think what you're doing will help? Huh? Do you think that starving yourself is going to solve **_anything?.!_** What do you think you're going to accomplish? You're just going to sit here and waste away, let your hikari's death be for nothing?.!"

Atem's eyes widened, his breathing quickening. He attempted to turn away, but Bakura grabbed his chin with an iron grip, forcing the weakened spirit to face him easily. "No. You listen to me. You are **_weak. _**Do you hear me? You are nothing but a pathetic baby who can't even continue living on in your hikari's place. I understand your pain, do not misinterpret that. But I, unlike you, understand that Yugi would have wanted you to live. He would have told you that himself."

Atem was shaking his head, his breathing at the panicking level. He raised his hands, clamping them over his ears, his vacant eyes locked on Bakura's face as he struggled, uselessly, to escape the thief's strong hold.

Bakura shook the spirit. "You are solving nothing like this. You are **_going _**to eat, and you're going to do it now."

With that the thief dragged Atem up by the chin, forcing his mouth open and shoving a spoonful of cold soup past his blue lips. Atem gagged, trying to spit it back up, but Bakura clamped his mouth shut, placing a large hand over Atem's mouth and nose.

A muffled scream sounded from behind the thief's hand, Atem's hands grappling at Bakura's arm and hand, desperately trying to remove it from his face. Bakura grabbed the back of the spirit's head with his other hand, holding his hand over Atem's mouth and nose firmly, unyielding.

Tears began to flow down Atem's face, his hands pulling harder. Bakura grinned inwardly. 'So he does still want to live, somewhere deep inside him. If he did not, then he would not fight me.'

Another muffled scream sounded, and then Atem's cerise eyes began to flutter, his struggles weakening. Still he refused to swallow. Bakura continued to hold him.

Up until this point, Ryou had watched in shock, but now he stepped in, grabbing a hold of his yami's arm. "Bakura! Bakura, stop it!"

Bakura didn't relent, he held fast.

Ryou pulled harder. "Damnit Bakura, **_YOU'RE KILLING HIM!"_**

That statement managed to burst through Bakura's state of resolve, and he released Atem. The spirit instantly began coughing and gagging, the soup leaking from his mouth, his body heaving as he threw up stomach acid and saliva over the side of the bed.

Bakura watched the laboring ex-Pharaoh for a moment, his eyes like ice, and then he turned, taking Ryou by the arm. "Let's go Ryou. There's nothing we can do here."

As the door shut, Atem raised his head, wiping at his mouth with one hand. He looked down at his hands, and then his eyes widened.

Blood. Blood on his hands. Blood on the floor in front of him. His mouth opened in a silent scream, Yugi's dead face flashing before him, and then his eyes rolled into his head, his body falling limp.


	4. I'm Falling In The Ocean

I'm sorry this chapter took so long, and I'm still not quite happy with it, but I think it'll do. The next (and last) should be up soon, I think. Enjoy, and please review!

* * *

Chapter 4

I'm Falling In The Ocean

_I want to swim away but don't know how  
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean  
Let the waves up take me down  
Let the hurricane set in motion  
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down  
Let the rain come down_

_**Chorus**_

* * *

He got used to the blood after a while. It never seemed to go away. No matter how much he rubbed, wiped, or scrubbed, it was always there, always staining his skin. He didn't even know where it came from; let alone how to get rid of it.

After a few days, he really didn't care anymore.

He also got used to the constant dizziness. That had been a hindrance at first, but now he could handle it, along with the strange feeling of nausea, the headaches, and general muscles aches. He learned to deal with it, and soon even learned to forget it.

Sugoroku still asked him to eat every day, but he no longer had any sort of appetite. He had no want for food, or for anything else. He wanted only to see his aibou again, and that wasn't going to happen.

Atem sat in the bathtub one night, nearly three weeks after Yugi's death, quietly sitting in the water. He stared into space, his crimson eyes vacant as he examined his hands.

He was a little confused. He could remember when those hands were strong and slender, tanned and powerful. They were good hands, he knew, they had been used to play Duel Monsters, to play games with Yugi, to caress and tickle his aibou.

If that was so, then why did they look this way? Why were they pale and thin, shaking violently, the bones prominent and the blue-violet veins standing out beneath the thin skin? Atem didn't really understand.

He looked up, his gaze turning to the mirror that just barely revealed his face. He had lost a lot of weight, his cheekbones stood out sharply, his eyes and cheeks sunk into his face, and those crimson eyes were dull and void of life. Tan skin had turned pasty white, giving him a ghostly appearance.

Atem sighed, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. He was tired, just like always, but sleep didn't seem to get rid of this fatigue. No matter how much he slept, he was still tired. He didn't understand that either, but he learned not to care about it.

"Atem?"

The spirit opened his eyes, turning his head to meet violet eyes. He blinked slightly, and then his jaw dropped. "Y-Yugi?"

A smile came to the pale face near his own. "Hey. You don't look so well."

Atem just stared. 'This isn't possible…. Yugi's dead… Yugi's been dead… What's going on?.!'

Yugi stretched out his fingers, the digits just ghosting past Atem's thin face. He did not touch his other half, though. "You've really lost weight. You need to eat."

Atem shook his head in shock, tears filling his empty eyes. "N-No… You're not real… Y-You're not real!"

Yugi chuckled forlornly. "Maybe. Maybe not. What do you think? I'm here, aren't I? Isn't that what you wanted?"

Atem clapped his hands over his ears, a thin scream escaping his lips. He shook his head, screaming. "NO! GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU'RE NOT REAL!! YOU'RE NOT REAL!!!"

* * *

Sugoroku nearly had a heart attack as he heard the screams from upstairs. He leapt up from where he sat on the couch, running down the hall and wrenching open the door to the bathroom, where he had left Atem nearly a half an hour ago to get clean.

The ex-Pharaoh's hands were fisted around his ears, his crimson eyes full of panic and fear, his thin body thrashing in the water. Screams echoed from his throat, screams of terror that were barely coherent. However, Sugoroku could distinguish some clear words.

"GO AWAY! YOU'RE NOT REAL! YOU'RE DEAD!!"

'What is he seeing?' the elder wondered, going forward and wrapping his hands around Atem's wrists. The weeks without food and with little water had weakened him, and Sugoroku easily held the spirit in place. "Atem, please, calm down!"

Atem screamed again, thrashing frantically. "LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

Sugoroku frowned, shifting his grip to Atem's face. "Atem, look at me!" The ex-Pharaoh refused to do so, and the man shook him gently. "Look at me!" Atem's empty eyes met his, sending a chill down his spine. Sugoroku nodded. "There you go. See? Whatever you see, it's not really there. Okay?"

Atem stared at him for a moment, and then went limp in his grasp. Sugoroku sighed slightly, hauling the terribly thin body from the water. Atem had retreated into his shell again. Every once and a while he seemed to come out, speaking a little, drinking on his own, even taking a bath on his own. But it was inevitable every time.

Atem would retreat once more, some vision or hallucination causing his mind to flee back into the dark corner that it had found three weeks earlier on the day of Yugi's death.

* * *

Atem had never found anything so fascinating. He stared at the shiny metal, his crimson eyes wide and totally enthralled with it. He reached out with one hand, running his hand over the edge of the silver.

There was a slight prick, and then blood welled up, dripping down his finger. Atem blinked, curiously touching the liquid with his other hand. It almost felt better to do this, to let out this fascinating substance.

Atem lifted the knife from the kitchen drawer, drawing his finger over it once more. More blood well up, and Atem rubbed his fingers together, smearing it over his pale skin and bony hands.

'I know what this is…' he thought. 'This was there… when Yugi…' He swallowed thickly, and then moved his hand, his eyes going to his wrist. He could see the blue purple veins beneath his skin, thin pale skin that would be so easily cut…

'I could join Yugi… Yugi… I could see him again…' Hope flared in Atem, and he shifted the knife in his hand, setting it against his wrist. 'I'm coming, aibou…'

* * *

Sugoroku opened the door, carrying the groceries inside and closing the door behind him. At the advice of Atem's doctor, he had bought more of the things that Atem liked to eat, as well as softer foods that would be easier for the ex-Pharaoh to handle, things that would be easy on his stomach.

Some part of him had been a little uneasy to leave Atem home alone, but the spirit had not had any suicidal tendencies, so he had decided that an hour in the house couldn't hurt. Besides, he had locked the bathroom doors and the drawers in the kitchen that contained the knives.

"Atem? I'm home!"

There was no answer, not that Sugoroku expected one, and he went into the kitchen to put down the food. The bags slipped from his grasp an instant later.

A drawer had been forced open, the lock broken. A pool of blood was spreading across the floor, and Atem was sprawled in the middle of it, several cuts scattered up and down the underside of his both of his forearms. His lips were bloodless, face as white as snow and eyes firmly closed.

"ATEM!" Sugoroku screamed, running forward and checking for a pulse. Atem was alive, but barely, his heart beating faintly.

Pulling out his cell-phone, Sugoroku dialed for an ambulance, his heart pounding in his throat. 'Please don't die, Atem!'

* * *

Sugoroku blinked as he saw Atem's crimson eyes start to flutter open, and then he gently grasped his hand. "Atem? Can you hear me, my boy?"

Atem blinked, and then his eyes, which were still empty and lifeless, focused on Sugoroku's face. "W-Where…"

"You're in the hospital. You scared me half to death; I came home to find you on the kitchen floor." Sugoroku murmured, his voice shaking slightly.

Atem looked back up to the ceiling, and then silent tears started flowing down his face, his body shaking slightly with suppressed sobs. He closed his eyes, a soft sob escaping his thin throat. "Why…?"

The elder blinked. "What? Why what?"

Atem wailed out his answer. "Why didn't you let me die?.! I just want to see Yugi again! Why didn't you leave me there to rot?.!"

Sugoroku just stared in shock at the broken spirit that had once been his proud and regal grandson, his heart in pieces.


	5. Into the Ocean, End it All

Chapter 5

Into the Ocean, End It All

_Now waking to the sun  
I calculate what I had done  
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)  
Just to prove I knew how (yeah)  
It's midnight's late reminder of  
The loss of him, the one I love  
My will to quickly end it all  
So thought no end my need to fall _

Into the ocean, end it all  
Into the ocean, end it all  
Into the ocean, end it all  
into the ocean...end it all

_**Final Verse/Bridge**_

* * *

Atem lay lifelessly in the hospital for days. They had put him on a feeding tube the other day, which he had protested to, though rather weakly. The spot was now a discomfort to him, though it didn't really hurt.

No matter what they seemed to do, though, he didn't seem to get any healthier. His breathing grew steadily worse, and after two days they had him on a constant breathing machine that would breathe for him if it felt the need. A life support system had been set up in the room, but it was not in place yet. Atem was still living on his own, but no one knew how long that would last.

Atem stared blankly at the wall, tears filling his eyes as he allowed his thoughts to wander. Four days he had been here, and for four days he had been trying to find a way, any way, to get out. He had begged Sugoroku, getting to the point where he was wailing and screaming, crying for the elder to take him home.

He felt more empty than usual. At least at home he could be around things that still carried Yugi's scent, little toys and games that he could remember seeing the smaller play with, things that brought him some sort of peace, if not comfort. But here in the hospital, he had nothing. He was empty.

He had seen Yugi multiple times around the hospital, and every time he had been sedated and put into a dreamless sleep. He knew that he was getting worse, but he didn't care, and some part of him was glad, soon he might be able to see Yugi again.

Atem sighed, closing his eyes. A single tear slipped down his cheek, disappearing along his thin neck as though it had never been there.

* * *

Sugoroku turned away from the hospital door as Atem closed his eyes, rubbing a hand over his face. He knew why Atem wanted to go home, and, quite frankly, he felt as though that was where Atem should be. He knew, somewhere deep inside him, that Atem wasn't going to last much longer, and he felt as though the spirit should be able to pass away surrounded by Yugi's belongings.

The elder turned to the doctor as the man came up to the door. "Doctor, I think I want to take my grandson home."

The man blinked. "Pardon? This boy is much too weak to be going anywhere. Any sort of movement could kill him."

Sugoroku nodded. "I'm very much aware of that. But I think that I've known for some time now, that boy is going to follow my Yugi, whether we want him to or not, and it would be better for him to do so in his own home, at some sort of peace, than here in this cold white place."

The doctor sighed, looking into the room through the window. "I know… Nothing we do is working, and we've done almost all we can… I just feel as though we're letting him go too easily…"

Sugoroku nodded. "I understand, but Atem started this fall a month ago, and I can no longer reach him, and he is no longer reaching back. I think all we can do now is let him go, and let him go peacefully and in the place of his choosing."

The doctor was silent for a moment, and then he nodded. "Alright."

* * *

"Atem? We're here."

Atem turned his head weakly, his blank crimson eyes looking into Sugoroku's as the elder opened the door. There was a light rain falling, but it was starting to get worse, making the night blacker than it was. Sugoroku leaned into the car, hoisting Atem's meager weight onto his shoulders and helping the teen out of his seat.

As soon as Sugoroku got to Yugi's room he laid Atem gently on the bed, where the spirit lay silent and still, tears falling quietly down his sunken cheeks. Sugoroku leaned forward, gently placing a kiss against the pale forehead. "I hope that this is what you want Atem, and I want you to know, I love you no matter what…"

The elder turned and headed from the room, but before he shut the door he heard a soft voice.

"Thank you…"

* * *

Atem awoke to a dark room, lightning flashing through the window and rain pounding on the shop. He sat up weakly, shaking as he stared out the window. He looked to the side, and then his blank crimson eyes widened as he saw Yugi in the doorway, beckoning to him.

A small smile came to the spirit's face, and he pushed himself to his feet. 'Yugi… Yugi…'

The boy disappeared through the door, and Atem stumbled to the knob, opening it and going down the stairs as he saw a flash of blue, Yugi's trademark jacket. 'Yugi, please, wait!' He thought frantically, nearly falling down the stairs as his weak legs struggled to comply with his orders.

Out in the rain, Atem stumbled, tripped, and crawled after Yugi as the boy ran in front of him, taunting him with warm smiles and sparkling eyes. "Yugi…" Atem whispered hoarsely, following the boy through the storming night.

_'Come with me, Atem… I've been waiting so very long for you…'_ Yugi whispered, holding out his hand from where he stood.

Atem smiled happily, stumbling closer, but then his legs gave out and he fell in the mud and grass, his cheek landing on something hard. He reached forward for Yugi, but then the boy was there at his side, petting his hair.

_'Easy, Atem… Easy, mou hitori no boku…'_

Atem's tired eyes raised up to Yugi's face, and he discovered that the boy was crying, the tears flowing down his ghostly face, the rain nearly disguising them. He curled his hand loosely by his aibou.

"Yugi…"

_'Easy… Just sleep now, Atem… Rest… Go to sleep…………_'

* * *

Tea groaned slightly as her phone rang, rolling over and reaching for it off of her nightstand. She brought it to her ear, groggily rubbing at her eyes. "Hello?"

_"Oh, Tea, thank God! You have to help me, Atem's missing!" _

Tea was awake in a flash. "What?.! Atem's gone! But how!.? He could barely walk on his own!"

_"I woke up this morning and he's no where in the house! You have to help me find him!" _

Tea nodded, already up and getting dressed. "I'll get Joey and Ryou on my way; we'll be out there looking in no time."

_"Alright. Call me if you find him, I'll be out looking too." _

"Bye."

Tea swore softly to herself as she called Joey and Ryou, getting assurances that they would help. Where could Atem possibly have gone? The spirit had been nearly too weak to sit up and stand, let alone go missing. What was happening?

She met up with Joey, Ryou, and Bakura not far from her apartment, and together the three went through the city, calling Atem's name, searching for any sign of the spirit.

They found nothing.

Bakura suddenly growled softly. "I think I know where he is." He took off at a run. "Follow me."

The others did so without question, running after the white-haired spirit as fast as they could. Tea frowned, chewing on her lower lip, and then it all clicked.

Of course.

They came around the corner to see the cemetery in sight, and Tea sprinted forward running past her friends to dart through the wide gaps in the cemetery's gate. She looked towards Yugi's grave, and then her heart stopped.

There was a thin body lying there, crumpled on the ground. She could see the trademark light blue pajamas that Yugi had always worn, and knew that it was Atem, who had begun wearing his aibou's clothes as he got thinner.

Atem was not moving.

The girl ran forward, dropping to her knees beside the spirit. Tears instantly flooded her eyes.

Atem was **_smiling._** A soft smile was across his lips, his thin face at peace for the first time since Yugi's death. His cheekbone was resting against the cold rock of Yugi's gravestone, his hand curled around the word _'Yugi.'_

Tea looked away, and a moment later felt a hand against her shoulder. She turned, burying her face in Joey's chest as the taller boy knelt by her. She sobbed, her hands clenching in her friend's shirt.

"It's okay Tea… He's okay now, he's happy, he's finally getting the rest he deserved…" Joey's voice was soft and filled with tears.

Ryou nodded, choking slightly. "He's finally at peace…"

* * *

_I want to swim away but don't know how  
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean  
Let the waves up take me down  
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)  
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down  
Let the rain come down _

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)  
(Into space)  
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)  
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)  
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)  
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)  
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)  
(I thought of just your face)  
Into the ocean, end it all…  
_Into the ocean, end it all…_

* * *

Wow, what a journey. I never quite expected how this fic would go when I thought it up, but it's been a rather emotional journey for me, and I actually really enjoyed writing this story. It's struck a chord in me, and I hope that I have done the same in you. Thank you for reading! 


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